kotekara-usuzukiyu

I feel sort of  different I could say that I missed it I might even be lying But I think it's better than dying My own world is sweet And my demons feel beat I like the cards that I've been dealt Although at times I feel I could melt Sometimes I feel old But I think it makes me bold That I can overcome the pain And that I have lots to gain My inner light is real And I can't describe how it makes me feel The only thing I'm worried about Is that inner feeling of illusion and doubt

I feel like crying, And dying, At the same moment, As my personal torment. The ironic fun Is that I cannot run, Not from this, Not even to find my bliss. There's nothing I can do, Even though I want to, And there is no support, Only the last resort. So close to the final goodbye, There's even no answer to the why, Only that I can take no more And want to find the exit door. The only thing keeping me here Is that one person I hold dear. That person whom when I hold, I no longer feel this cold. If only he wasn't away, I'd maybe have more reason to stay. But now I can only rely To the thought that things will maybe get better, when only a f

Like sitting on scrolls And looking through keyholes What started with lust Got overpowered and turned to dust Just sitting there And trying to bear Something between starvation And sick expectation If only a solution to this fear Could finally appear To make me feel less extreme And make reality of what used to be daydream I just can't help but hope That I'll be able to cope The feeling of rejection That will sting like a needle injection